Heiderino

If you have a small child, and have had the misfortune of putting them on a “magic flusher” toilet, you may have had an experience similar to mine.

Recently, my husband took Drue to the bathroom at a restaurant. Apparently, before she was done, the thing flushed, sending her flying off the pot, terrified. While he got a good laugh out of it, (on the inside) she was scarred for life, I’m afraid.

We took a trip to McDonald’s for dinner the other night. Right about the time we were going to leave, she told me she had to go potty… “Bad!!!” We bolted to the bathroom, scrambled into a stall, and she froze.

“But Mom… That’s a magic flusher potty… I don’t like those.” I told her to hop on, reminding her she had to go “BAD!”

She wouldn’t do it. She thought that by sitting on the potty, it would cause the flusher to activate. I tried to explain that it had a magic “eye,” but she would not buy into it. Instead, perched on the very edge of the toilet, she had an accident all over the floor, her jeans, socks and shoes. (And, might I add, she’d apparently had two gallons of water during the day.) Her eyes were as big as saucers, because she knew what was happening but couldn’t stop it.

“It’s okay!” I told her, ” It’s just an accident.” I saw a look of slight relief on her face.

That was when it flushed.

She flew off that toilet, midstream, shrieking and crying. Meanwhile, I’m holding the baby and trying to figure out how to handle this situation.

Why on earth would McDonald’s - children’s haven - have these things? They never sense those little bodies the right way. I’m terrified that any time we go anywhere in public from now on, we’ll wind up with sopping jeans and socks.

Finally, isn’t it pathetic that enough people don’t flush the freaking toilet that they had to invent these things in the first place?

Husbands everywhere groan when their wives get invited to home parties. I’m talking about Lia Sophia, Parytlite, Market Day Gourmet, etc. etc. etc.

Well, I’m writing this piece to explain just why I think these home parties are so important.

Today, I got OUT OF MY HOUSE mid-afternoon to sample tasty delights at a Market Day Gourmet party. My friend had the party, and my other dear friend was the consultant.

I’m very familiar with the MDG products, and I like them a LOT. You get to go mingle with friends, try tasty snacks, and basically just get away for a bit.

The party ended, and the four of us that were left realized that we were still there, with a bottle of wine, some snacks and no kids. DING! Lightbulb!

Michelle said, “I say we stay for a while.” We all agreed. We sat at the table, yapping away and realized that we just don’t get to do this kind of thing enough. I recommended a semi-regular gathering to play cards, or whatever. Michelle reminded me that she and I don’t know any card games. ‘Doh!

At the end of the day… So what if I spent $55?

A) It’s FOOD. We’ll EAT it.
B) Mental wellness
C) Friends

So, whether you go to your mailbox to find a postcard for candles, food, jewelry, home decorating items… Whatever…

Unless you don’t know the person hosting the party (and isn’t it annoying when you get those invitations?), I say:

“You go, girl.” You’ll either come home with something that smells good, tastes good, helps your life in the kitchen, or nothing.

Nothing, that is, but time away from the norm, bonding with your girlfriends.

I realized recently that when I get ready to post on my site, it’s usually because of something that happened to me in the immediate time frame. Someone made me mad (BEST BUY), something weird or funny happened… Very rarely do I just sit down with my creative thinking cap on and whip up a spontaneous and, well, super-creative piece.

My friend Emily sent me a link not too long ago that helped me come to this realization.

The blog was that of Christopher Monks, and I seriously haven’t laughed that hard, or had such a creative awakening in quite some time.

This dude writes fan letters to Star Jones, of “The View.” No, he doesn’t send them, but rather scans them for his blog. Not too long ago, he was discriminated against for a teaching job (just read it) because of his blogging habit.

I’ll be the first to admit it - that thought has crossed my mind… The thought that someone I know will stumble on to Heiderino and figure out just how I really think, versus the person they know on a daily basis. But then I read my own pages, and feel a little bit better. I usually have a moment of “Well, if they find out about me, they find out about me.” And then I realize that nothing on my site is really that over-the-top or, for that matter, tremendously exciting.

Christopher… I have to thank you! From a relative blogging “newbie,” I really appreciate your writings.

Oh - another thing? You’re much better off without that district. I hardly think that writing fan letters to Star Jones is more controversial than telling your students that the President is worse than Hitler, if you know what I mean.

Peep Microwave Experiment

Originally uploaded by Heiderino.

Microwaving Peeps is really, really fun. This was a 28 second nuke-job, but next time I’m going to go for 40. I wonder how many seconds until a Peep bursts into flames?

Peeeeep!

Originally uploaded by Heiderino.

Tonight, Drue discovered the ziploc bag of Peeps on the counter - the only three Peeps left from my uncontrolled Peeps binge at work yesterday.

Wait! Rewind. The other night, she had Peeps for the first time, and she was instantly addicted. She ate two or three and then walked around with a glazed look in her eyes repeating “Yummy Bunny…” in a slightly wacked-out tone.

Getting back to this evening, she asked if she could have a bunny. I told her, sure, she could have ONE.

About five minutes later, she approached me with an empty bag and a guilty face.

As a parent, I felt that I had to address this. I told her I was disappointed that she ate three when I told her that one was enough. She crumbled on me - crying, and telling me she never wants Peeps again.

Now, my intent here was not to scar her for life on Peeps… And it was even harder to scold her, knowing JUST how easily those damn things go down. They’re worse than Krispy Kremes - it’s like eating air!!!

Finally, we explained to her that Peeps aren’t BAD for you (yes they are)in small quantities, but that massive amounts of them can give you a tummy ache and make your teeth rotten. Somehow it was mentioned that Peeps come in colors other than blue. The minute I mentioned Pink and Purple Peeps, that same glazed look came over her face, with a sort of spaced-out smile.

Ahh…. Like mother like daughter, I guess.

The Sopranos Feast 2006

Originally uploaded by Heiderino.

Oh yes - every new season of the Sopranos, I cook up an Italian feast. This time I took it a step further, and made a straight up authentic Sopranos dinner, working directly from my Sopranos cookbook - a gift strategically given to me by my husband 2 Christmases ago. Ulterior motives, I tell you!

Contrary to my usual methods, I made my own sauce. This pot of sauce contained four - yes, four - pounds of meat. (Pork, Italian Sausage, Veal and Beef)

I made my own crepes for the manicotti, too. It wasn’t that hard - all of this was just time consuming. But the result was stellar, and the sauce had a flavor unlike any sauce I’ve tasted before.

We sat down an hour before the new season premiered to watch the last episode of the previous season. After all, it has been two years.

We were not disappointed by the first episode. It was pretty good and you can tell they are setting the stage for several plot twists…

Luckily, there are only FIVE MORE DAYS until we find out if Uncle Junior is responsible for Tony’s demise.

MALANGA!

Peep-y Goodness!

“Who will be the Democratic candidate for the next Presidential race?”

Almost every time I hear that question asked on TV, and a name mentioned, someone inevitably says “Nah - he’s too Polarizing.” Polarization was a big topic in our last election too, and it got a lot of coverage and spawned many a debate.

I have made a discovery, however. More polarizing than any politician I can think of is the Marshmallow Peep.

Have you ever brought out a pack of Peeps at work? I have - and I can say with 98% certainty that the nation is about 50/50 divided over Peeps.

“Oooh!!! Peeps!!!” or “Ugh, how do you eat those things?”

People who love Peeps, LOVE Peeps. Fresh, stale, roasted over a campfire… Almost every Peep lover has their own method of enjoying the crystally-sugary-coated marshmallow delicacy.

People who hate Peeps, HATE Peeps. End of story. You can not convert a Peep-hater.

It’s a case of black and white - there is no gray area with Peeps.

Right now is a rough time for me, with Easter coming up and Peeps, Peeps, everywhere. At work, they carry Peeps at the store. I figured out that there is one extra Peep in the yellow chicks than in the pink bunnies, and it still costs only .59. So, even though I would prefer the pink bunnies, I love Peeps so much that I go for the chicks.

I’m so obsessed, and think they are so cute that I bought my daughter Drue a purple Peeps bunny Easter basket. I can’t say she’s ever TRIED a Peep, but I predict she will adore them. She’s even getting a Peeps coloring book.

For more information and some fun Peeps stuff, visit their site: marshmallowpeeps.com

Oh… And for the record, I like my Peeps fresh or roasted. When you roast them, the sugar sort of carmelizes into a delightful crunchy shell. Mmmmmmmm.

Mr. Brett T. Boo

“User-Centered Design isn’t rocket science. Sure, it’s tough - I have many large-scale decisions and choices to make on a daily basis, but I get to talk to the users, and learn all about their jobs. In some instances, I am the user. I believe this helps me understand all kinds of people. I’m a hard worker, and especially productive if I get my afternoon nap. Otherwise, I’m a little bit cranky, but I always get my point across. Ideally, I’ll find a position at a toy manufacturer, but banking or the insurance industry would be okay too.”

Skills:
Honesty
Willing to offer opinions
Humorous
Great team player
Super cute - helps clients side with my designs

Testing Experience:
Diaper Usability Testing - Participant
Mom’s Patience - Testing, Faciliator

Design Experience
Tongue-depressor Cookie Dispenser Interface
Bubble Wrap Design- to help users not bump into sharp corners

References (my Mom, Daycare teachers, Grandma and Grandpa) available upon request.

I am embarrassed and disappointed to admit this:

I watched the Guns ‘n Roses “Behind the Music” on VH1 tonight, and something very major came to my attention…

I have had Duff and Slash mixed up in my mind since… EIGHTH GRADE!!!

Descriptive Logo

Okay… I know I just said that I haven’t made any interesting observations lately, but that isn’t true. I just stumbled upon this camera phone pic I took of a van I see at the Park ‘n Ride.

As a designer myself, I must say… That is one KILLER logo. And while it is killer for the hilarious factor, (and obvious painting talent)there are some problems with this van.

1) I know they paint, but there is no contact information on the van… At all.

2) I’m not sure what they paint… Old barns? Interiors? I’d be a tad leery to hire them to paint in my house. I might find one of my rooms painted like one of the works of Curious George.

3) The van has an overall “serial killer” look to it. In fact, it almost looks like a *fake* painting van…