Heiderino

I just started to use Mozilla Firefox on a somewhat regular basis. I took a look at Heiderino on it, however, and it looks like garbage.

Unfortunately, it took me so long to get it looking even marginal in IE that I’ve come to accept this.

So here it is:

**DISCLAIMER: HEIDERINO LOOKS HORRIBLE IN FIREFOX.**

This dream doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to my daughter Drue, who is almost four.

The other night, I got hardly any sleep. The baby was up a couple times, she woke up a couple times, and even the dog woke me up to let him out at 3 a.m. At about 3:30, just after I’d fallen back to sleep, I heard her calling my name.

“Mom! I had a bad dream!!!”

I went in to console her, and asked her to tell me about it.

Now, usually her bad dreams include hot lava or monsters, but this time she was more upset.

“We went to the restaurant with Grandma and Grandpa, and Mishaya came along (friend from school). Mishaya tried to steal my fries!!!”

I must agree, this dream topped any hot lava or vicious monsters.

Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke. IT’S GOOOOOOD.

They didn’t have a picture of the sliced ones…

I honestly think this is the funniest and strangely harmonious display of generic packaging ever.

Visit the Interesting Off-Brands pool on Flickr to see some more funny labels! And no… I haven’t tried the “North Pride” potatoes. I definitely wouldn’t try the sliced ones, since there is no picture.

Lime blockade

The bartender gives you half of a lime to squeeze into your Corona? And then you spray yourself or your neighbor in the eye, and your whole night can go downhill very rapidly. Really! Managable chunks, please, people!

Monday morning, and I’m running late. Not incredibly late, but late all the same.

Somehow, in my lateness, I decided it was a good idea to drive by a state trooper at 80 miles per hour. Well - not exactly. It was more like, “Oh! There’s a trooper!” and then “Oh S*&#! I’m going 80!” When I saw him pull out of the rest stop, I knew I was doomed.

Yep - the girl in the black mini-van got pulled over.

When the stone-faced trooper approached my window, I handed him my license immediately. He asked me if there was a specific reason he clocked me doing 80.

There was no reason at all to make up a story, so I just explained that I wasn’t paying attention. He walked back to his car.

I called my friend, who had the same experience last year. She basically told me I was in deep doo-doo. When it happened to her, she got a $250 fine. My legs started to shake, and I hung up, ready to face the music.

When the officer came back, he told me he was going to LET ME GO WITH A WRITTEN WARNING!!!

So, I don’t know if there are foolproof rules to get out of a speeding ticket, but here is my advice if you find yourself in that position:

• Be polite
• Don’t cry and don’t deny
• Don’t make excuses

And most important…. Say THANK YOU!

This has been bothering me for a long time, and I just can’t get over it.

When I bought my digital camera, I bought the warranty they always bug you about at Best Buy. I figured it was insurance in the event something happened to this camera like it did to my previous Olympus. The sliding door that activated the camera broke - the track cracked, about one day after I owned the camera for one year. But enough about the Olympus.

My current Fuji S3100 has been flaking out on me. When it first occurred to me that there were technical problems, I heaved a sigh of relief. I bought that extended warranty at Best Buy. So I took the camera in, and they informed me that they would have to send it to Minnesota for repairs, and that it might be gone for up to four weeks.

Of course, this happened about 3 weeks before my son’s first birthday. I was naturally worried that I wouldn’t be getting my camera back in time, but luckily it did come back. I read the paperwork that accompanied it, and all it really said was that they checked the components. The camera still took bad pictures. The flash only goes off on occasion, and usually not on the really cute photos. As a result, many of my pictures are dark and blurry. When the flash DOES go off, the pictures are so bright that my already pale kids look like ghosts.

We took it back again, and were told that they had to send it away again, for another 2-4 weeks. I asked them how long this madness would go on, and was informed that they must send it away three times before they will replace it. Three times, at up to four weeks a crack? They could potentially have my camera for up to three months!

We were told: “This is all in your policy.” It’s kind of funny how they don’t mention the details or give you any time to read the fine print when they’re pressuring you into buying the warranty in the check-out line, hey? I understand that people might abuse it, but, when the “Certified Repair Center” sends it back with vague language suggesting they didn’t even do anything, I think Best Buy should do more for their customers.

Bah. I’m hoping this thing comes back in working order, when it finally does come back.

I just watched my DVR of last week’s two hour Bachelor special. It’s wonderful entertainment when you are on the treadmill, by the way. The time just flies by and you don’t even realize you’re exercising!

I remembered something that I’ve noticed in previous seasons of “The Bachelor.” In every scene, on every date, the women are being plied with wine or champagne. Inevitably, someone gets just wasted and earns the scorn of the other girls. If you listen very carefully, there is a lot of slurring on the show. The booze makes for more drama, indeed.

I must address Emily’s comment about this being a fun experience - I agree! It kind of reminds me of that first week in the dorms when I went off to college. New people, new places, new experiences… However, if you embarrass yourself in the dorms or at a college keg party, at least the nation isn’t watching!!!

I lost them. Both keyrings to my van. The good ones - the ones that open the siding doors from afar, when my arms are full of groceries, kids, etc. I have been driving around with a stupid (yet life-saving) valet key for a week.

But there’s good news! I JUST FOUND BOTH SETS!!! HOOOOORAY!

This is kind of embarrassing, but I’m comfortable enough at this stage of my life to admit that I watched the first episode of “The Bachelor: Paris” last week. I told myself it would be on just in the background, as I took care of some things on the computer, but I kept wandering into the kitchen and positioning myself in front of my tiny television to watch girls named Princess, Venus, and Moana introduce themselves to the good-looking E.R. doctor.

Of course, the bachelorettes don’t know right off the bat that the bachelor is a doctor. But, if they’re basing their hunches on previous seasons, he has to be successful, right? And the minute they find out, they say things like “Now that I know he’s a doctor, I’m even MORE determined to get a rose.” Never did I hear a girl comment that she’d be interested in getting a rose only if Dr. McDreamy is indeed a nice person.

As usual, they covered all the ethnic bases, and the personas - store clerk, doctors, teachers, sales people, NBA dancers… You name it. And textbook pretty, all. Ditzy, sweet, funny, cool, laid back.

There was the usual number of women “devastated” they didn’t get a rose, and the one psycho that chases back in and screeches at the bachelor. (Hmm, I wonder if that would convince him he made a mistake?) It’s so dramatic that I have serious doubts as to the impromptu-ness of it all. I almost wonder if this person is an amateur actor, trying out for “Passion Beach” or a new pilot soap.

Yet, I watched the whole thing, and I have every intention of at least DVR-ing the upcoming episodes until I can no longer stand it.